When I started nomad, I expected plenty of emotions:

• Awe
• Fear
• Curiosity
• Excitement

But one I didn’t expect hit me hard:

Loneliness.

Let me explain.

The downside of solo-travelling

As someone who enjoys his company far too much, writing is perfect.

Sitting in my flat drinking tea, tapping away at the keyboard, going for walks, and reading books?

Yes please.

But being alone back home was easy.

You have friends and family within an hour’s drive. Even if you don’t see them, it’s comforting.

Half way across the world?

You never feel more alone surrounded by strangers.

Two problems I noticed

1. You must force yourself into social situations

I don’t have ‘social’ hobbies. I write, read, walk, and think.

Whilst it’s 10/10 fun, it doesn’t exactly scream ‘life of the party’.

So during my nomad trip, I tried to do 2-3 things per week to meet new people.

It was a good forcing function for fun. But it got tiring fast. And it was distracting from the business too. Especially if alcohol related. I don’t want to be in bars at midnight when I know I can get a good night’s sleep, watch the sunrise, then write for 6 hours.

(I’m 32 years old going on 60… and I love it)

Anyway, I embraced the social side during my first few months.

But I soon noticed a second problem.

2. Relationships don’t compound

The nature of travelling is that most relationships are transient.

Now, as a newly single man I thought this would be great fun.

But I soon realised it’s draining. Similar with business, if it ain’t compounding, I struggle to see the point. I like getting deep with people.

You can’t do this over a couple of dinners.

I found myself becoming more brutal about who I’d meet. And resisting getting closer to those I wouldn’t see again (for example, if they can’t nomad).

Now, these points might sound negative. But there were positives too.

Two benefits to solo-travelling

1. You get closer faster

In business, a deadline forces you to cut the fluff.

The same is true in relationships.

When you know that time is short, you make much more of it. Less small talk, more experiences.

For example, I met a group of digital nomads in Thailand.

They also came to South Africa.

After 4 months of bouncing in and out of each other’s lives, I consider them close friends.

And I hadn’t made new ‘close’ friends since leaving university.

But this next lesson was most important.

2. You can be alone but not lonely

Modern society has villainized loneliness.

But being alone is not a bad thing.

It’s beautiful.

Because you will never think for yourself if you’re always around other people.

And it’s not the world’s job to make you happy. It’s your own.

Loneliness is just a mirror that reflects how you feel about yourself. When you learn to love your own company, you’re untouchable.

At the start of my trip, my mind screamed at me that I needed friends. That I was a loser if I didn’t have someone to share this experience with.

But this voice quietened over time.

I began enjoying being alone without the underlying fear that there’s something wrong with me. As a result, I feel like I understand myself 100x more.

What I learned:

Time spent alone is the most important time.

Especially if you’re trying to work out what you want from life.

So if you’re considering a solo-trip, I’d highly recommend it. It’s uncomfortable, but as is everything important in life.

We’ll wrap up this 3 part series with the best benefit I’ve enjoyed from nomading.

See you in a few days.